RABADABA VS A RUBBER DUCKY


So, Definitons:

A rabadaba is mukyamu. Note that. His mukyamuness mustn’t be messed with else he’ll take the issue up with your intestines by way of a sharp object, which won’t be fair to them, as they’ve hardly done anything all their lives but quiver and palpitate.  He is also a Ugandan local artiste on whom every normal female has passionately lusted after at least once.

i'magetchu!

This is he.

A rubber ducky is a yellow duck shaped toy made out of vinyl, which has come to be associated with baths. The ducky has no need for legs, apparently. Its makers feel it can go about life content with bobbing amongst soap suds and don’t subscribe to the view that toys come to life in the night. They just don’t see the kind of embarrassment that legless-ness might pose for these creatures.

Quack

When agitated:

A rubber ducky cannot even quack. On the event that this adorable squeaky toy loses its temper, the worst it can do is hurtle towards you as you’re having your bath, brandishing its beak like a lance (with dark hate possibly written all over its face). Note that severe paranoia and/or hallucinogenic drugs are a prerequisite for coming to a realization such as, ‘Eh! My rubber ducky is trying to kill me!’

A rabadaba can go into the offensive and attack the enemy. He can rat-a-tat lugaflow at his opponent and reduce them to dust. He can squeal, ‘bwekili!’ in a falsetto and confuse said opponent long enough to turn tail and bolt in case the fight has started looking bad for him. He can pull a knife and put paid to your dreams of being a midriff model. A rabadaba is more equipped for battle than a rubber ducky.

The rub-a-dub doesn’t have anything to do with the two and people don’t even perform it when they’re in a state of agitation. It’s a dance which involves the repeated rubbing together of body parts belonging to two consenting people and is the national dance of Jamaica, if dancehall videos are anything to go by.It has gained worldwide popularity because the world full of perverts. There are more people rub-a-dubing at any given time than those listening to rabadaba’s music or those playing with rubber duckies, so the dance wins this round.

this is how they rub.

Achievements:

Rabadaba has climbed another rung on the ladder that leads to authentic male musician-hood by getting incarcerated for being too curious about the contents of the other people’s stomachs. Guy should’ve done PCB. People get to cut open frogs in biology class, right?

Rubber duckies have been around for a longer time, but haven’t really achieved anything past being able to bob on soap suds and make baths somewhat more interesting.

Eyes:

Duckies have dead eyes, usually blue in color with mascara-d looking eyelashes. If a cold dread creeps into your heart when you’re staring at this toy, cast it from you and run away. It is a sign that the duck successfully taken the first step in possess your body. So don’t look them in the eye too long.

Rabadaba, according to an extremely unreliable source has a testicular–visual aid in the place of his left eye and this is why he wears goggles all the time. He’s apparently so mukyamu that evolution decided to skip convention entirely and plaster a hairy bullock onto his face.

Looks:

Ducks are cuter than Rabadaba. For one, they don’t have testicles on their faces.

They can be referred to as duckies but if you call Rabadaba rabbie, you probably won’t see your spleen again.

29-05-2011

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