“This was why Kiki had dreaded having girls: she knew she wouldn’t be able to protect them from self-disgust” is a line from On Beauty by Zadie Smith (Good book. Read it). It has built itself a monument and stuck its flag into the soft flesh of my brain.
From knowing many people of the female variety, I’ve come to agree with Zadie that whatever a girl looks like, she will, at one point, look at her reflection in a full length mirror, stare long and hard and hurl something at it.
Why is this? Welllll, we could blame TV and ‘the west’. Nothing pleases us better than a good rant about how once upon a time African women and men were totally contented with the generous serving of curves that God had given them until the west and globalization invaded our lives with silly ideas. Those TV, fashion shows and magazines have partly contributed to us judging ourselves by an unreasonable standard, but the ‘west’ doesn’t stick fingers down your throat to “make all the extra food come out” or put you through unhealthy diet plans.
It’s not to blame for the willful starvation, the silly, misplaced pride you feel for being able to skip lunch, the mock-wailing tones in which you boast to your girlfriends about your lack of appetite or of the way your boss is stressing you into smaller clothes. This ridiculous behavior is on us.
If your rounded figure is going to make you hate yourself and feel abominably fat, you don’t deserve youth and beauty and whoever is in charge of that stuff should hasten your wrinkling.
Do you remember the OOHing and AAHing internet revolution that happened when Adele appeared on Vogue’s cover? Opinions were zipping around the internet like hyper ticks. The people who really irritated me were the angry ones. They said things like: Why does she always make references to her weight during interviews? She’s pretending. She’s not secure at all! She cares! She’s fat!” Idiots.
She’s a big girl. We can all see that. Stop screaming about it as if you’re the only person who subscribes to sight. If Adele feels like making (adorable, charming, wonderfully phrased) references to her size, take it or stop reading/ listening.
I totally agreed with the ones who put Vogue on the spot for using only headshots of the woman. Adele is not a bust. She’s got a body that is just as beautiful as her face!
The people who kicked me into a bottomless pit of disgust were the posers (I’m not angry anymore. I’m ZEN now). Before Adele stole the whole world’s hearts, eyes and ears, back then when she had one album and a smaller but steadier following, a certain acquaintance of mine very disgustedly refused to entertain my squeals of ,“she’s awesome!” because of Adele’s size. That’s right. She said, “That chick is too fat!” and now she’s one of the biggest Adele posers in existence. It doesn’t help my irritation that this disgusted girl is not what exactly what you’d call svelte. She has side bellies.
How you feel about your body comes back to the standards you judge it by. Obviously, obesity is a horrible thing but fat? Flesh? Those are no more beautiful or ugly than naturally small.
We’re all allowed our preferences, but people please. Desist from concussing us and our sensibilities with ugly references to size.
Remember that you are young, and beautiful. Princess Ikatekit said that.