I don’t usually do bottoms, but…

Plan B’s bottom 5 on swerncing

5. Swerncing means insulting the environment by speaking in an accent that is nauseatingly fake. Aye larrrve swirrming is swerncing. Aye warnt to bway you’re a draynk is swerncing.
4. Fakers of accents DO know that we’re on to them, right? I mean, how can they not? Our snorts of derision, our eyes dancing with laughter, our open gossiping, surely they know we know they’re faking it.
3. It is possible to tear your tongue, so if you continue straining it by making it dance strokes that it’s not accustomed to, it will rip with a wet kathwak! And you will die of pain.
2. Oba we blame the people in outside countries that interact with these swerncers? It’s as a result of their nonjudgmental, all accepting ways that these people find the boldness/ shamelessness to speak like they have no teeth.

1. It falls to the owners of these accents, these Australians, Britons and Americans who interact with our bros and sisses to call all fakers out on their bullshit. Like, “Stop tripping bro. You don’t sound LIKE ME when you speak like that” OR, “Whatever is the matter with your tongue, Mary? Are you ill?”

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