Either teach well or go home (and kill yourself).

Church was once a staple in my life and slowly, I am starting to find true enjoyment in the word of God again. This article isn’t about my spiritual awakening (which I hope will last this time). It’s about the way people in positions of influence deliver their teachings.

One Sunday last November, one of the pastors at Watoto Church was talking about his wonderful wife and the lovely things that she’d done for him on his anniversary. It was very sweet. He even insisted she come up and sing the song she’d sung on the day to much cooing and clapter*  from the congregation. He remarked on how beautiful she is and how more women need to obey their husbands, especially when it comes to how they look.

He then said, “But some women just cut off all their hair” while making a comical sweeping motion over his head.

I bristled with indignation, and not only because I have chosen to rock a nearly bald head.

Like this

I miss the days it was like this

The pastor’s joke made the entire congregation look around and eyes lingered on those like me with little or no hair. In that moment, I wondered what it would be like to be married to somebody like him and let me tell you, what I envisioned wasn’t a fun experience. I saw a guy who would whine endlessly and be very aggressive about letting you know how he wanted you to look. Just imagine if a Christian couple in attendance was fighting about style choices. On hearing Pastor’s words, whatever headway they’d made would be lost.

A lot goes into a way a person looks. Mood, emotional well being,  fashions, personality, etc. Style is an intensely personal thing. Even in a long term relationship where you’re committed to loving the same person forever, both individuals retain the right of choice.

If you want to change your partner’s style to suit your tastes, don’t do it by shaming them or comparing them to others. Spitting Bible verses won’t work. Belittling them won’t work. Writing blogposts about them won’t work either . Give them a reason to want to acquiesce to your whims. Make them feel comfortable enough to adjust their style in a way that will make you happy. The way a person looks should be their decision, an act of service (to you, their partner) and not one that leads them to doubt themselves.

People in the Education sector are another group that need to be careful about the way they deliver their wisdom. Their job is to instill confidence, manners and a sense of decency in the children that pass through their system year in year out. Instead of doing that, our teachers and school administrations are filling young people up with their own warped sexual politics.
How can a school profess to be against trousers on girls or tight uniforms and then turn around and allow their girls to wear barely-there dresses during prom? If they really thought that trousers caused uncontrollable lust to surge in the hearts and minds of the males in the system, they wouldn’t allow girls to wear them during dances.

A school like Seeta High bars female visitors from entering school grounds if they are wearing trousers, causing much embarrassment and irritation, but allow their students to swim semi-naked in a pool which is not far from the staff room. Where is the logic? Selective morality is dumb and needs to end.

Our young need to be equipped with feelings of equality, self esteem and affirmations, not insecurities and hypocrisy.

James 3: 1 says Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.

If you can’t teach well, go home.

*clapping and laughter

19 thoughts on “Either teach well or go home (and kill yourself).

  1. My daughter’s school held a speech day about two years ago and when the guest of honour got up to speak, he implored the parents to stamp out homosexuality. And he went on and on about that propaganda of men in diapers blah blah blah. I thought, “forget my politics about gay rights but why on earth would you see it fit to discuss sexuality of any kind in the attendance of 3-5 year olds?” She doesn’t go to that school anymore. I am rabid like that.

    • But that guy. I’m glad you took her away from such an unhealthy environment where people discuss their stupid biases in front of little children who are like sponges! Did your child have any questions for you afterwards?

      Meanwhile now I’ve remembered how much I wanted to write about sex education and how most of us didn’t get any from our parents. And how we need to shake the sex-shame and break the birds and the bees down for children (in age appropriate ways).

  2. That thing of skirts on school visitations kills me!!!! Like sometimes I will just not go to visit my siblings because I was already dressed for the day. Absolute madness! I supposed pant suits are not allowed too… MAD!!

    • Ask school admins like Seeta’s. My thing is that if they have decided to run their school like a nunnery, they should stick to their principles. Or else they are just revealing their stupid biases and sexism. It’s not a principle. It’s a manifestation of sexism, this business of sending female parents away when they come in trousers.

  3. Exceptionally good post. I love your writing. I nominated you for the LIebster Award, if you are interested check out my post, Liebster Lauerate. I enjoyed following through. I hope you do, if not- I understand…thanks

    • I’m honored! I’ve happy that you enjoy my scribblings.
      I’ve just read your post and intend to write one like that, and to nominate some of the blogs I enjoy.
      My only issue is that you misspelled APENYO.

      • I love your writing. The award was a lot of work for me because I’m tech challenged but that is part of why I do this. I want to stretch my abilities. The requirements are you thank the person who gave you the award. You answer the questions, ask 11 questions, choose 11 nominees and post the award on your page. I’m glad you’re going to participate. I’ll change that misspelling immediately.

      • another thing-your nominees should have 200 followers or less. I am going to make up a list of the requirements and try to send them out more organized. I’ve only contacted you and one other person. That’s probably because you seem very easy to communicate with…..Just another compliment…

  4. I like this a lot. Nice read.
    This selective business has got to my head.
    This Christian friend of mine has made it her new job to fill our timeline with all this talk against the Pope and catholics, the end times and she has become the self professed expert on homosexuality and illuminati. Only she knows anything on this matter. She is the only one who isn’t sinning..smh
    Among other things, she is constantly judging and pointing fingers at non-‘savedees.’ I thought to get people to the ‘right side,’ you need to encourage them?
    Anyway, instead of sinning by constantly being angry whenever she posts, I have blocked all her updates..when I have the strength, I shall give her a piece of my mind.
    Not everyone can teach. sigh*

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