In Pursuit of Sharp Hair I


Humans pay too much attention to each other’s bodies. What is he wearing? How long is her skirt? What does her hair make me feel? We are forever poking our noses into things that are none of our business.

I chose to go bald for a little over a year and during this time, my family, (certain) friends and ex didn’t stop devising schemes to get me to wear some hair. My father told me that I’d get meningitis as a result of all the mosquito bites that my large, smooth scalp would attract. He also said I would get headaches and all the exposure to cold wind would freeze my thoughts.

The shoulders of my aunts would droop with sadness whenever I’d walk into the house with yet another haircut. The ex’s tactics were so many and amusing that I cannot do justice to them in one article.

I ignored them all. First of all, I strongly disagree with the notion that a woman’s hair is her “crowning glory”.  A woman’s brain (and the things she can do with it) is what we should be focusing on, people. Not the dead waves and coils of keratin that emerge from her scalp. I refused to yield to the insinuation that the entire experience of womanhood can be reduced to the ability to push dead cells out of a scalp. It was only after I became bored with baldness that I allowed my hair to grow out.

 By the time it was about half an inch long, I was sick of it. I missed the feeling of a cold electric shaver buzzing on my scalp. I missed the newborn alien look that a fresh haircut gives me. I felt like a teenager among all of the S.6 vacists roaming Kampala’s streets. The hair felt invasive and in a last bid to make myself like it, I decided to style it.

 There’s a rather popular hairstyle around town that many people with short natural hair are rocking. They somehow maneuver their kaweke into little spikes that stick out from their scalps, giving a lovely definition to their faces. I knew from research (loads of facebook updates) that this style could be arrived at by briskly rubbing a sponge or a palm over the scalp. Thanks to the lovely people on my friend list,  I also knew that a cheap locking gel could be used to achieve this style.

I uploaded this to facebook. it helped a lot.

I uploaded this masterpiece to facebook  and captioned it with the words below:

 

(slightly edited) You guys, I need your help. So I have seen this style around town where people with teenie weenie fros like mine curl their hair into spiky little points. I know from a bit of research that this style is arrived at by briskly rubbing a sponge over the scalp. What treatment do they put in the hair to make it form the spikes when rubbed? I love this style but I’m not willing to pay the insane dimes that a salon  is sure to charge me.  A sponge is 500 and whatever product they’ll use can’t be more than 30 bob. Any(really really) useful information will be rewarded with long hugs and a good meal. 

Because I’m rich (ha), I visited a salon in town for a cost assessment. The shameless lady told me she’d require sixty thousand of my Uganda shillings. I visited another one, this time in Wandegeya because I figured it would be cheaper, what with the bulk of their clientele being broke campus chicks. I was right. Yusuf told me he’d only need 30,000. When I asked what the styling would entail, he became cagey and it was only after great insistence that he told me he’d be putting Ariel detergent in my hair.

Understand that I really wanted this style. As Yusuf washed my hair, I consoled myself that a little Ariel wouldn’t hurt. It was only when I smelled the actual detergent that I chickened out. The thought of sitting in a taxi going from  Wandegeya to Ntinda while smelling like soaking clothes just killed my morale dead. When I told Yusuf to stop, he was very angry. He rejected payment and snarled something about “losers who visit salons to steal knowledge” at my back.

I then took my research to youtube and thankfully, none of the ladies online were using detergent on their heads.

to be continued.

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7 thoughts on “In Pursuit of Sharp Hair I

  1. The things ladies have gone through in the name of hairstyles! I am forever thankful I’m male. No nosy relatives giving me strange glances or friends making indecent remarks about my hair. And the best part? Takes me no more than 15 minutes to have my head looking decent when I go to the salon (assuming it is not already decent even before I enter the salon). Awesome!

  2. No nosy relatives? You dreadlock your hair and dye it white, then get back to me. Nobody is safe! Hehe.

    Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

  3. My brother just scoffs and smiles (apparently at the same time, it’s an acquired skill) hehe.
    Do as your heart desires, because in the dead of night when it’s just you and your thoughts, it’s the only one that will really listen.

    • Ela! In the dead of the night when it just you and your hair, it’s the only one that will be squashed by the pillow.

      I realize that the above makes no sense, hihihi.

      Thank you Caesar for reading and sharing your jazz!

  4. I was told that the latest “craze” for locking dreadlocks in salons now is to use coca cola and washing powder…and your not allowed to wash it out for days…seriously, who comes up with these things?!

    Needless to say, I don’t go to salons, ever. My loc’s have been cleaner, stronger and healthier since…

    P.S. hi5 for rocking the bald look. You are a brave one! 🙂

    • Thanks!
      Coca Cola? I’m too amused. What are you supposed to do about the ants (that will surely attack your head the moment your lie down)?

      Oh how nice that you twist your locks. How old are they?

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