2012 will always be remembered as the year that I won something. I have the worst of luck when it comes to games of chance and I’ve always rolled my eyes whenever banks and telecoms start rolling promotions out to protect myself from jealousy and heartache. With a sneer on my face, I shrilly ask, “Who wants free land? Who needs free cars and microwaves? I can work for my own property!” all the while crossing my fingers that one day, the squealing woman on the telly will be me.
In December 2012, my luck changed. A company called addmaya took over the internet with a promotion on their website that involved the answering of many trivia questions and a kind of treasure hunt. One of the goodies up for grabs was a pair of Beats by dre headphones.
I’ve written before about how much I resent having to sit in an office for 8 hours, every day of my young life. The idea of retirement in some distant future doesn’t console me. Like King Saul who needed David’s music to quiet the demons in his head, I need music to soothe my angst and make me a more productive employee.
At the time of addmaya’s promotion, I had just broken my earphones. Life was torture. You cannot refuse to go to work because you have no earphones. Life just doesn’t work that way. I took many deep breaths, went to the website, followed the instructions concerning the Beats by dre headphones and I won. I actually won. I won the beats by dre headphones. My music is not the same as your music. I won.
The celebration that ensued should have gotten me fired. I ran around office whooping and hi-fiving my bosses. I even kwasa kwasad around the parking lot.
This is what they look like: They are big. They are black with accents of red. They have the word monster on them. The box they came in is still on display in my room.
Not only are these things comfortable, they are cool and anybody who cares about such things (usually cute boys) always look at me once, then again when they spot the b engraved on the side of the headphones. I welcome all double takes, especially from cute boys.
Everything comes to an end, including excitement. After a few months of carrying them everywhere, I began to occasionally forget them at home. Last Monday, I arrived at office sans headphones and all was going reasonably well until my neighbor pulled out a pair of bright red abominations shaped like my babies. His headphones were plastic with a bright red b painted on either side. At first I was amused like, “Haha. Bambi people can want nice things. I wonder who made these headphones?” And then the amusement died because I began to imagine what it would be like to use my headphones next to him. Somebody would pass by our desk and look at both of us using what looked like beats by dre headphones. They would then notice that his are fakes and then they’d assume that mine were fake as well.
You can’t confront somebody about their headphones or make them throw them away. That is impossible. I considered being passive aggressive but that is not a sustainable plan. My annoyance would hurt me and not him.
I still haven’t decided how to react to his kiwanyirous headphones, so I’m writing about it and hoping that you’ll leave suggestions in the comment section.