Raw Iguanas in my pizza

See for yourself.

I see raw iguanas. I could taste raw iguanas. I trust my senses.

Iguana would have gone right on being the place I head to for my lunch time/early afternoon drink (don’t judge me, judgey mc judgeyson) if I hadn’t had a meal there.

A friend and I were excited about the things we’d heard about their pizza and pork specifically. We’d both sampled the pork so chose to have a pizza (bacon, egg, mushroom, tomatoes) and a burger for lunch. Good things first. The pizza is huge. If you’re not particular about taste and only need filler for your tummy, your desires and expectations will be adequately fulfilled. The chips that came with the burger were beautiful. Crispy, moderately sized, dry and full of yum.

My grim experience with that pizza was due to three factors. I had to wait too long for it-we were done with my friend’s plate by the time it came, the waiter who brought it emerged from the door that leads to the downstairs toilet (really bad for the psyche of a patron) and it tasted whack. Not even the bacon could save it.

As for the burger, it didn’t taste bad exactly. It was just ugly. The patty is unusually large so it hangs over the lower bun like…jowls. Like labia that have lost their way. Like long armpits.

This is a style of presentation which you can’t begrudge an establishment but why did the mushrooms taste like milk? After scraping all the stuff between the bread and the patty, we were able to enjoy Enos’ burger but that felt wrong.

The rain caught us there, so we considered drowning the stuff we’d eaten in alcohol but then it stopped and our consciences returned.

Moral of the story: use Iguana for what it is originally for i.e. drinking and making merry. If you must eat, do the chips (and maybe pork).

Alternatively, the chef could switch it up. Pull his/ her socks up.