When my dad discovered me singing to my plants a few days ago, he must have backed away very slowly because one minute I could hear him being generally alive in the space behind me and the next, he was gone. Not to another part of what is a large backyard, mind, but totally gone. Perhaps he was like it’s too early in the day to face the kind of offspring I have bred.
In the absence of a watering can, and the presence of my two very capable hands, I give my plants a bath every morning. I am very proud of the small plot that I was allowed to de-grass for this project and I’m determined for everything to go amazingly well.
The process:
Using my palms, I scoop water out of a bucket, quickly come up with a song for whichever plant I’m watering and then pour. For example:
Lemon balm, lemon balm, will you let me be your calm.
and
Sage plant, Sage plant, protect me from these ensanafu
and
Thyme, Thyme, will you love lime…
Look it doesn’t have to make sense. Singing charms plants and that’s what must have brought my strawberry baby back to life.
Have you read this article by Fungai Machirori, founder of herzimbabwe and all round fantastic woman? You should because it is about Anne Kansiime, arguably the funniest comedian in Uganda. I was lucky to meet, attend a comedy show, drink and do loud karaoke on Jinja Road with Fungai when she was in Uganda a few months ago. She’s a real gem and I hope I will one day do something extraordinary enough for her to feel like blessing me with an interview like this.
For now, I will enjoy the fact that she has called me an advertising executive and included a beautiful picture of Kansiime and I in her article.
In other news, I have decided to document my journey to fitness on tumblr. Check my tumblog out and send me all of your best energies, even after reading that I yesterday jogged from office up to Alfredos and back. Control your feelings. Don’t let your jerasssey cloud the vibes, hehe.
In fun and final news, I stole an empty banana boat paper bag from the receptionist’s desk. I say stole because it’s really good paper and she may have wanted it for something.
Anyway, I needed its sisal handles for an impromptu recycling and DIY session.
Also read as, I felt like changing my hairstyle and didn’t have any rubber bands. I took the handles out and after a minute in the bathroom, looked like this.
and this
and this
and this
It’s fun, free and takes my bob away from my neck, which is great for the hot hours. When it gets cold, I can just let it back down. This has got to be the most versatile hairstyle I’ve ever rocked.
I need to go and write a wildly overdue article about songs, sex and gender issues for Muwado.com, so see you on Monday.
APENYO 
If your Dad decides to confront you about your “new strange habits” you must quote something smart from Gustav Theodor Fechner (the German psychologist who started the theory that singing to plants actually affects their growth!).
I personally think its awesome, plants are after all living things too, and i’m sure they appreciate the good vibes your giving them! I think the Botanist and famous plant-singer Fernand Lequenne best sums it up with the quote;
“If you really want to draw close to your garden, you must remember first of all that you are dealing with a being that lives and dies; like the human body, with its poor flesh, its illnesses at times repugnant. One must not always see it dressed up for a ball, manicured and immaculate.”
Peace and Love and Happy Gardening!
I like the way Fernand thinks! Thank you, Soulofwander for introducing me to these names. I’m going to Google them real hard.
Singing to my babies and bathing them, like I do Daniella, it makes me feel even more maternal towards them. I really hope these guys are right and they can feel my love (through the screeching), and even respond!
Oh now I cannot wait to adopt more plants and exchange love with them.
This doesn’t even fit here, but well. Seeing as I am on some other level of kwemolaring…I once read somewhere that it is essential to bless and thank a plant when taking a part of it for your own use. My aloe plants are the most thanked and blessed aloes in the world, possibly.
Peace and love right back at you!
Can you split experimentation enthusiasm in half? I would like some of it!! Great piece on Anne Kansiime
Haha. Sure. Come home and we look for things to spend our energy on.